Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I went to the same junior high and high school with a small group of the same people. A few of us went to the same college together too.

We graduated, entered our career fields, lived our lives. Some got married. Some had kids. Some worked and traveled and played.

Nowadays unless you already do everything to keep in touch with old school friends, we tend to catch up for birthdays, funerals, babies being born and weddings.

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The twins sharing their brother/sister dance

It is a personal shortcoming of mine to not keep in touch with people. With age, my circle keeps pretty small. I have good intentions and mean people well but without a whole lot of action to reach out regularly, I really do a poor job of staying up to date with old friends and loved ones. I am always constantly working on that one.

One of my dear friends got married this weekend and boy I got so many blasts from the past. It was so fun to see, laugh and catch up with old friends. It has honestly been several years since I have seen most of them.

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Laura & Dilaun

We re-lived school memories, talked about all the pieces in our lives that are new and changed. A beautiful day full of flashbacks and yet celebrating my sister friend who looked stunning and blissful on her day of marriage. Another new beginning to keep in touch about.

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With the Beautiful Bride

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I was so glad to be in the same place with her family who I consider my family too. I spent so many nights in their house. We grew up learning from each other. There was a lot of fun and love there. I was overcome with such joy being close to them again, sharing hugs and stories, introducing them to my significant other. Everything felt familiar like the old days and with the exception of a little passed time, we fell back into the same routines.

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Love them! Bride's family

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Distance makes the heart grow fonder but if you can keep the distance from growing, you’ll be better off.

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Congratulations to my loving friend, Diana, and her new husband Joel. I wish  you two all the love and happiness in the world. Enjoy Hawaii and let’s see each other before the next wedding, birthday or funeral to come.

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The Happy Couple

To Have and To Hold: Managing Perfect Expectations

For those who read my post last Sunday, you know I was in the middle of preparing for my sister’s wedding. As of this afternoon after checking out of the hotel, the wedding weekend has come to a close. The planning is over. The newlyweds are happy. The guests are relaxing before returning to work — many recovering from the good dancing, the good laughs, the good drinks — or a combo of all three.

I learned so many lessons from being part of this event. The main thing is to Expect the Unexpected.

Not only on wedding days but in life. I will lay out examples from my wedding day experience because it is fresh on my mind but I know life happens just like this because perfection does not exist anywhere.

When I heard from brides and wedding parties to expect things to go wrong throughout the day,  I was not sure what that meant. When would it happen? Is there a way to anticipate and mitigate the risk? Can we produce perfection anyhow and be an exception to the rule?

Needless to say, we were not an exception to the rule.

Early morning on the wedding day, my hotel room was awakened with a call from the police. They called to let us know the alarm in my sister’s house had gone off and they were there to check things out. It was almost hard to believe. Even harder to believe was the same alarm going haywire 3 times on Sunday morning at 3, 4 and 5am. There was nothing wrong either time. No one was trying to break in but it seems the alarm picked a hell of a weekend to go nuts because the battery was going out. What made that experience more frustrating was my dad having to leave at some ungodly morning hour to drive 60 minutes to check things out himself and reset the alarm…both days.

We arranged for a vehicle to shuttle the wedding party to the venue for pre-ceremony pictures. When we arrived to the hotel entrance, no shuttle in sight so we had to think quickly on our feet. We were already running behind on our photographer’s schedule and we needed to get so much accomplished before the ceremony. My boyfriend grabbed car keys and just started making roundtrips to get things moving. He is a saint by the way and was part of the dynamic duo that really kept the entire weekend afloat by hard-working, selfless, quick thinking like this. We were able to all arrive shortly thereafter for wedding pictures.

We took all our photos before the wedding which in hindsight made sense. By doing it in this order, we were able to spend more time with the guests following the ceremony. What did not make sense however was how freaking hot it was outside. We were all mostly dehydrated, sweaty, smelly messes after walking around for 3 hours taking photos in the heat. Just at the end of our photo shoot, the clouds took a turn and the raindrops started to pour. The bride had to race up the street under makeshift covering from the wedding party. We got beautiful shots but no matter how hard one might try, controlling the weather is well…out of our control.

Minutes before we lined up to walk down the aisle for the ceremony, a member of the wedding party had to leave due to a family emergency when their spouse was rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately that person was unable to return for any part of the ceremony or reception. Their spouse is expected to recover and be okay.

Don’t get me wrong. The outstanding moments far outnumbered the unexpected mishaps. We had a ridiculous amount of fun. The bride and groom were stunning, they said “I Do’s” without incident and the party was epic. The wedding party, the guests and even the vendors had the time of their lives. Everything was well planned and well executed. It is always worth keeping things in perspective though. Not everything in life can be planned to the point of perfection because life is not perfect but even in the mishaps, there is something to learn.

Expect the unexpected and things might still turn out alright.

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Wedding Week Countdown: Family is the Principal Thing

My family is 6 days from celebrating our first wedding. My older sister is getting married next weekend.

It is such a beautiful and exciting time. The planning is mostly complete and the final ticks are being marked on the checklist. I am getting more and more excited to party all weekend with some of my favorite people -my closest loved ones.

My family certainly can never be accused of perfection. We are VERY human. The last year of walking through the changes this engagement (and life) has brought though reminds me of how brilliant family teamwork really is.

We relocated one of my sisters to a new apartment out of state when she got a major promotion at work. We helped my future brother-in-law relocate to Chicago from Arizona. We spent some time over the last Thanksgiving holiday meeting future in-laws while on holiday in South Carolina. We gathered together in support over the past year at graduations and birthdays and funerals.

Family is a powerful thing. We spent time this year having our share of laughter and tears as a family. We get mad occasionally and can piss one another off. We champion each other. We hurt feelings and have to apologize just like when we were kids. We love hard and we crack each other up.

Family always sees the real you, for better or worse. Unlike other relationships with lovers and friends… with family people don’t hold back. It is actually really to easy to take family for granted but just like love, some of the same rules apply. Even love that can be expected should never be taken for granted.

I am fortunate to have family that has been such a blessing to me. They are good to me and will rally around me whenever I need it. When we stand as one next week, to extend generosity and acceptance adding more into la familia, I hope we all feel the same power in the vows. I hope we also remember to strive for our current family members and friends to feel the same love.

I, Dilaun, take thee, to be my newest family members, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’til death do us part.

Seems heavy right? But that is the kind of commitment family has. Since you do not get to choose them, it is best to elect to be a blessing regardless. My family has shown me this level of commitment and I truly believe I am a better person because of it.

We are in this together. Love & Family are the principal things.

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